Therapy for Narcissistic Abuse

in Chicago, IL & Phoenix, AZ

Are You Currently Stuck In A Narcissistic Or Antagonistic Relationship?

Have you been struggling to make your voice heard in your relationship? Do you have a romantic partner, friend, coworker, or family member who:

Acts jealous, possessive, and manipulative?
Lacks empathy and shows indifference to your feelings?
Uses gaslighting or belittling remarks disguised as “helpful feedback?”

Maybe your partner doesn’t respect your boundaries and demands far more from you than you ask of them. Perhaps they continually question your memory and your judgments, making you think that you’re “crazy” or “confused.” Their behavior might be increasingly unpredictable—some days they shower you with love and affection while other days they act cold and withdrawn. As a result, you may feel like you’re walking on eggshells around them. Perhaps you’re asking yourself: Does my partner’s behavior qualify as narcissistic abuse? Should I get help?

Narcissistic Abuse Is Incredibly Hard To Break Free From

Abusers rely on very subtle manipulation tactics to keep you dependent on them for happiness. They do this through “love bombing”—showering you with love and adoration, treating you as if you’re the sun, moon, and the stars, and then turning on you at the drop of a hat, acting cruel and hostile and criticizing everything you do.

This emotional rollercoaster creates what’s known as trauma-bonding. It conditions you to crave the positive moments with your abuser so much that you’re willing to put up with them even when they treat you poorly. Even though they continually devalue you and wear you down to the point of exhaustion, you become addicted to the breadcrumbs of love and affection that they give you.

If your relationship sounds like this, it’s important to know that there is hope and you are not alone. At Compassionate Healing Psychotherapy, our counselors specialize in helping survivors of narcissistic and antagonistic abuse find comfort, safety, and validation. We want to do the same for you, empowering you to develop autonomy and recognize that you are worthy of love and respect.

Questions About Therapy for Narcissistic Abuse? Contact Us!

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Sadly, Our Culture Often Blames Survivors For The Abuse They Suffer

We’ve all seen it—survivors of abusive relationships come forward and tell their story, only to be ridiculed, disbelieved, and even blamed for the abuse they suffered. They’re often told that they “could’ve just left” or that they “made things worse” by staying with the abusive partner.

On the other hand, there are many social and familial circles where abusive behavior is normalized and treated like ordinary relationship drama. In such cases, friends and family usually tell someone suffering from abuse to stick it out because “that’s the loving thing to do.” Since they aren’t properly educated on the nature of narcissistic abuse, they end up minimizing the situation. This is why there is such a deep need for compassionate professionals who understand how narcissistic relationships work.

Many Therapists Aren’t Trained To Deal With Narcissistic Relationships

A report from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) found that roughly one in four women and one in nine men suffer from severe intimate partner violence, which can mean physical violence, stalking, psychological aggression, and other forms of antagonistic abuse (1) (2). Yet in spite of these sobering statistics, many therapists don’t know how to properly address relationships with narcissistic abuse.

In the world of couples therapy, most therapists are taught to use a 50/50 lens and view each partner as equally responsible for the damage in a relationship. They give survivors a few communication skills and boundary-setting strategies, all while missing the obvious: that the relationship damage is not 50/50, since one partner is completely disempowered.

At Compassionate Healing Psychotherapy, you can rest assured that our therapists understand how narcissistic relationships work. We know that you are not at fault for the abuse you’ve gone through, and that’s why we stand unreservedly on the side of survivors.

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Therapy Can Help You Recover From Narcissistic Abuse

Let’s face it: nobody walks into relationships with a manual that tells them to look for red flags that indicate toxic or abusive behaviors. As a result, many people don’t know what signs to watch for. They end up believing that their partner’s behavior is healthy and normal because they haven’t been taught otherwise.

As therapists who specialize in working with survivors of narcissistic abuse, we want you to realize: the problem isn’t you. You are not to blame for your abuser’s behavior. No matter how much they try to dress up their words as helpful feedback and disguise their actions as loving, abuse is abuse. Although it always takes two to tango, the disempowering nature of abuse makes relationships inherently unequal.

This is why a huge part of our mission involves education about abuse. We will help you recognize and validate your experiences as abuse and teach you to identify narcissistic and antagonistic behaviors in everyday life. Once you realize how narcissism erodes your self-worth and impacts your self-perception, you can better understand what you are dealing with and learn how to protect yourself from the manipulative tactics abusers use.

Tailoring Our Approach To Narcissist Recovery Therapy

We take a holistic approach to therapy for survivors of narcissistic abuse—the goal is to explore how we can heal all of you, not just individual parts. After all, abusive relationships create a cycle of trauma-bonding that can’t be treated with talk therapy alone since trauma is stored deep within the body.

Our practice uses a variety of trauma-informed, body-centered therapy models to help people find healing from narcissistic abuse. Some of them are listed below:

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)—This approach can help you process traumatic memories and reduce their emotional charge, allowing you to recall painful experiences without feeling overwhelmed.
Internal Family Systems (IFS)—The goal of IFS is to heal the parts of your personality that trauma has wounded. For instance, there may be part of you that has learned to “people-please” in order to avoid being hurt or belittled. IFS can help you befriend this wounded part and prevent it from controlling your decision-making.
Somatic Therapy Practices—Oftentimes, trauma survivors are able to move on with their lives after they have processed their experiences on a cognitive level. But on an emotional level, they’re still deeply reactive to their environments. Throughout therapy, we’ll equip you with embodiment exercises and breathing techniques to help you somatically heal from trauma in the body.

Through our integrative, deeply compassionate approach, we believe that we can empower you to heal from past abuse, understand your true worth, and gain the skills to build healthier, more fulfilling relationships in the future.

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You May Have Some Questions About Counseling For Narcissistic Abuse…

No, we won’t. Our goal is simply to help you build your own autonomy so that you can make decisions for yourself. We believe that once you have gained the tools, insights, and confidence to avoid falling prey to manipulative tactics, you will naturally arrive at the conclusion that’s best for you. After all, we understand that there are many complex reasons people choose to stay in relationships or marriages, especially when children or finances are involved.
We make sure to pair our clients with therapists who are specifically trained to work with the challenges they face. Our practice owner, Iwona Florianowicz, has both personal experience healing from narcissistic abuse and professional expertise helping others on their journey toward healing from narcissistic abuse. She is trained and certified in this area and is here to listen without judgment and give you the tools to create a more empowered sense of self.
Our sessions are entirely confidential—you can rest assured that we will honor your concerns as sacred and share them with no one outside of sessions. This is important for all therapy clients, but especially for those suffering from narcissistic abuse. Even if the abusive partner reaches out to ask us if you are in therapy, we will neither confirm nor deny that. We strive to protect survivors at all costs, and that means guarding their privacy during the healing process.

It's Time To Take Back Your Power

Whether you’re seeking therapy during or after a narcissistic relationship, we believe that we can help you reclaim your confidence and experience long-lasting healing. To learn more about how we support survivors, you can call 602-715-0501, or use the contact form to get in touch with one of our therapists.

Our practice has locations in Chicago, Illinois, and Phoenix, Arizona.

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1. Black, M.C., Basile, K.C., Breiding, M.J., Smith, S.G., Walters, M.L., Merrick, M.T., Chen, J. & Stevens, M. (2011). The national intimate partner and sexual violence survey: 2010 summary report. Retrieved from http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/nisvs_report2010-a.pdf

2. Curry, S. J., Krist, A. H., Owens, D. K., Barry, M. J., Caughey, A. B., Davidson, K. W., ... & US Preventive Services Task Force. (2018). Screening for intimate partner violence, elder abuse, and abuse of vulnerable adults: US Preventive Services Task Force final recommendation statement. Jama, 320(16), 1678-1687.